Germaine’s Luau

When in Rome do as the Romans. When in Hawaii, you must attend a luau. A luau is a traditional Hawaiian feast which includes entertainment and a Kalua Pig which is cooked from four to six hours in the sand under Hawaiian banana leaves. Aside from Ka Wa’a, which is the luau on the Aulani property, there are luaus offered all over Hawaii. Two luaus close to Disney’s Aulani Resort are Paradise Cover and Germaine’s Luau. When deciding which luau to attend check price point, location and drink packages.

Most luaus offer a pick up and drop off service which is well worth the investment so you can drink and eat without worrying about driving home. When dealing with pricing I recommend staying around $100 per person. You also want your luau to be on the water. At some point you want to be able to see the sunset, walk on the beach or see the ocean during this Hawaiian festival. $100 should secure transportation to and from the luau, buffet dinner, unlimited soft drinks, an alcoholic beverage and a two hour show. Depending on which luau you choose it can be up to forty minutes away from your resort which is why I recommend going close to where you are staying. Most luau establishments have been opened for years and know what they are doing. Alcohol can be tricky. Most places will let you spend more money to upgrade your drink package to include multiple or unlimited beverages. I recommend sticking with the base package and see how the night goes. There is a buffet, a show and usually kids around. After two or three drinks you might be all set. The show will be worth watching wherever you go. All shows contain beautiful women, fit men, music, and dancing.

We decided on Germaine’s Luau because it was down the street from the Aulani Resort where we were staying. I paid $101 per person which included transportation, unreserved seat, one alcoholic beverage, unlimited soft drinks and unlimited food. I was drinking by the pool all day and I was not sure how much drinking I wanted to engage in during the show. I had no problem walking to the bar and paying for two or three drinks myself. The pick-up time for the bus was at 4:30pm and the show started at 5:30pm. It can get real cold by the water at night so consider wearing pants, or jeans since Germaine’s is right on the water.

The bus pick up was smooth. We walked out the front door to the lobby at 4:25pm and the bus was already there waiting for all the guests attending the show that night. The bus was gorgeous. I was expecting a cheese bus with no air conditioning but it was and academy bus (or similar) with comfortable cloth seats, bright lighting and excellent air conditioning. Once at the luau we were lei’d and given our drink passes. On our way to our seats a professional photo was taken of my wife and I by the water. If you’re a young couple visiting Hawaii, buy the picture. If you have been married for thirty years, I am sure you have tons of pictures by the water.

As you enter the main are the stage is centrally located with rows of picnic tables fanned out central, left and right. The package purchased dictates where you will be seated. We were to the right of the stage a few rows back but still had a great view of the stage. The colors, dances, songs and atmosphere are so bold that you do not need to sit within the first five rows to have a good time. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will not be walking through the curtain. The show is full of people with talent you do not know so front and center is not necessary.

We used our drink tickets right away as most people do when they arrive. The bar looks like a tiki hut and is closer to the beach and entrance area. If you buy the souvenir cup your drink will have slightly more liquid than others. I recommend purchasing the cup if you plan on having two to three drinks because you will get more alcohol out of it and you will not need to carry around a cheap plastic cup all night. After getting our drinks we headed to the show and watched as the picnic tables started to fill up as busloads of people continued to pour into the venue. Just as the show was about to start a couple sat in front of us that looked familiar. The more I gawked at the two strangers I realized the women was not jogging my memory but the gentleman certainly was but I could not place him. The man was older with a salt and pepper beard and mustache to tote. If I had to guess his age I would say Sean Connery from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. After getting settled at the table he mentioned something to his wife and the raspy voice told me he was a cigar smoker. His accent let on he was foreign probably from somewhere in South America. For the next fifteen minutes I began to sneak glances at him trying to pick up on mannerisms or faults. There was a certain mystery about him that was intriguing not shady. Maybe he was not a celebrity but he was certainly the most interesting. He took a sip of his beer and made eye contact with me and I knew I was sharing a table with the guy from the Dos Equis' beer commercials.

Seemed like the accent was something I made up because after listening to him I discovered he had American roots. I do not like to get overly excited when I see celebrities in public. They are all regular people just trying to have a good time. At the end of the day we all shit in the toilet the same. I decided not to bother him but I did snag a picture with of while he was sitting at our table. It is quite an accomplishment to share a drink with the most interesting man in the world. Mr. Interesting did not have an impact on my drink selection. I was in Hawaii at a Luau on the beach at night so my two options were Pina Colada or Mai tai.

The picnic tables were about 80% - 90% full once the show started. The show starred a female and male master of ceremonies to help push the night along. All of the performers seem to come out for an initial number as a guy blew into a sea shell to get the night started. The performers did three or four numbers to get the crowd going before letting the crowd know the food was almost ready for serving. At that point four men begin to remove the banana leaves from the hole in the ground where the pigs had been cooking for several hours. The area where the pigs were cooking was open enough for everyone to gather around to see. Jenn and I climbed to the second floor of the tiki hut to get a bird’s eye view of the spectacle. Two guys remove the banana leaves and pulled up the cages holding all the meat. Spectators were chatting it up through the whole event and using video cameras to capture all the footage like their kids were graduating from kindergarten. As the men were pulling up the cages the MC narrated the whole process and provided a background and history of the tradition. Eventually people weeded out so if your initial view is not perfect, just hang around and it will get better.

The team was pretty good at setting up the buffet tables shortly after the meat was pulled from the ground. Within twenty minutes the MC started calling sections of buffet tables to line up for the buffet. Germaine’s does offer a package where a server will take your drink orders and bring the food to your table so you can enjoy it family style. However, getting up and waiting on a quick buffet line will not be the death of you. Besides, the picnic tables are not fun to sit at for an extended period of time. The buffet tables are setup in a separate area from where you are seated and they have several buffet tables which are constantly being replenished. The tables have something for everyone but the main attractions are the pork, sweet dinner rolls, white rice, vanilla coconut cake, Hawaiian chicken, potato salad and macaroni salad. Try to load up on one trip so you do not have to trek through the sand for seconds like I did.

The whole process of calling tables and people eating takes less than thirty minutes. While waiting for table numbers to be called people were grabbing drinks, getting to know strangers, going to the bathroom and taking pictures. After dinner the staff wasted no time in jumping right into the show. Once the sun started to set people walked away to take pictures of the sun going down on the southern tip of Oahu. Once the sun goes down the staff lights the tiki torches and the show picks up steam. Along with traditional hula dancing the show also had a fire dancer. I get incredibly nervous watching these events because I fear this will be the last time I see the performer alive or he is going to hurl the fire stick into the crowd like a missile. Nevertheless everyone survived and after a few cocktails it was exciting in a safe way. Germaine’s Luau ended the night by inviting all the women and children in the crowd to the stage for hula lessons. My wife was extremely excited to go on stage and hula in front of the crowd so I sat back with the most interesting man in the world feeling like the luckiest man in the world. As I sipped my Pina Colada I felt satisfied with the evening and everything Germaine’s Luau had to offer.

Shortly after the hula lesson the mass exodus began. I told the Dos Equis guy to “Stay Thirsty” and headed toward the exit. Once exiting all the busses were lined up like pigeons on a telephone wire. In front of the luau there were several staff members helping people find the correct bus to board. Even once on the bus, the driver made several announcements to make sure everyone on the bus knew where we were headed. You would need to be extremely intoxicated to get on the wrong bus and head to the wrong location. We boarded the bus around 10:00pm and we were back at Aulani by 10:30pm. Considering the price point, location and show this was a top notch experience. I recommend this adventure for all honeymooners and first time visitors to Hawaii.

Just to summarize the night Germaine’s Luau was four out of five stars for my wife and I. Spending $100 per person is reasonable and do not feel like you need to spend more than that for a great time. Be sure to wear bug spray since you will be sitting outside and consider wearing pants since you will be sitting near the water at night. Buy the picture and the souvenir cup and enjoy all the buffet has to offer. Tune in next time when I break down our trip to Pearl Harbor, Hanks Hot Dogs and the Aulani night life.

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