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Gringos In Paradise: Machete's + Dice

Gringos In Paradise: Machete's + Dice

May 2018 · 4 min read

Ahhhh the jungle it’s an environment I have never visited before. Endless shades of greens, colourful birds (yes I spell colour differently!) and friendly locals walking around with machetes…. Errrrrr?


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Yes welcome to Lanquin, Guatemala! A small little town so deep in the jungle you would have thought that the Maya were still thriving in this spot! To my disappointment they were not, however their history and cultural roots were still strong and ever present in this magical place the local Mayans highly regarded
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It was a long 9 hour drive from Antigua and it was the perfect way to finish off our holiday after hiking our way up Tajumulco in the freezing sleet and rain (yes the only way to Lanquin was to traverse back to Antigua and in an entirely head scratching zig zag itinerary, Ross and I drive a hard bargain and keep our precious pennies close to our chest).


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Several hours down a bumpy jungle road and we see dozens of men carrying machetes, had we arrived at the right place? Our driver informed us that bandits occasionally hold up workers while in the jungle but assured us that we were safe.

We arrived out our hostel, Zephyr Lodge, I remember this so damn well because the scenery was spectacular and was exactly what we wanted to end our holiday.


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A nice temperate pool in the humid jungle with a bar to knock back drinks was the perfect afternoon pastime.


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There was a great game ran by the hostel staff called the ‘dice game’. Everyone who wants to play rolls the dice, roll the lowest die you buy everyone a round of the cheapest shot (about 50 cents). I opted in a game with about 15 people the first time and subsequently lost. Not discouraged I continued to play another 10 rounds and didn’t lose, so…. It was worth it??

The main attraction everyone comes to see here is Semuc Champey. This is one of those bucketlist items not everyone talks about, but it is truly spectacular. It is a series of crystal clear water pools that has the river Cahabon flow through under and through limestone. I highly recommend getting a guide to take you there in a group (about $12) and it includes a lot, especially because these guys earn so little.


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Before we made it to the water pools, our first destination was to caving shoulder deep in water while holding a candle and a rope with one hand to stay afloat. Unfortunately, as how I have described it was impossible to film, take photos let alone see anything. All I can say it was a full adventure, bombing off limestone into a narrow pool, ‘watersliding’ through tunnels into other chambers and occasionally all the lights went out it was so spooky how dark it was!


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The real beauty was about to begin. Semuc Champey had dozens of these tunnels with tiny breathing spaces in between which the guides showed us. The water was so clear and the surrounding jungle made me visualise how it must have been over a thousand years ago when the Mayans also enjoyed using this place, it was very surreal and humbling.

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Unfortunately, I didn’t take too many photos but I hope I can convince you guys to check this place out if you’re ever in Central America as it’s natural beauty will blow you away.

And in a strange ending, here is a mysterious rash I got minutes before I boarded the plane (I wore a long sleeved at the airport thank goodness!). Gotta love the jungle, its a give and take relationship!


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Thank you for reading and stay tuned for some fun stuff coming up, Jules.

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