I didn't know the last visit of my village would be the final moment of meeting between me and my Dad (father in law)!

You might find this post bit different than the other post I've made or anyone in this community published. As a writer my job is to express my feelings and I'm trying to do it!

I'm writing this as I'm unable to sleep or cry, I feel like the whole world is moving around me and I'm just stuck in a isolated situation.

The journey started in the 9th June at 11pm when I had no idea about the upcoming situation!

I had to move as because my Father in law felt sick and needed a checkup! So the journey begins with little worries, our plan was to reach home by 6am in the morning and start our return journey to Dhaka within 7am. Things never goes as I wanted do had to wait till 5.15am at the ferry station and reached home at 6.30am. I found him okay and talked about few things; never knew this man would die in the following morning at the same time!

We started our journey, me with my dad in the ambulance and my family was in a micro bus. We never knew the call was waiting for us! The micro bus had an accident within half an hour of our journey! I could have lost my family! The back left wheel just apart from the car and luckily there was no injury as the car was following our ambulance which was driving slowly (40km/h) due to my Dad's sickness.

We never understood the sign! Was not that shocked about the incident as God already had big things for us!

At ferry I went to him and stood beside him all the time! I found he was sweating and helped him removed his shirt; when I touched I found he was burning! I don't know why he was hiding all his pain? Did he was thinking people would suspect his situation relevant to Corona??? No one here now to answer that now...

We wanted to reach early but delayed everywhere! Finally reached Dhaka at 2.30pm but unable to admit my day to any hospital!

The situation got worse as my Dad was not able to breathe and oxygen levels gone down to 35/40! The current COVID-19 situation took all the hospital into a death area and my dad needed high-flow Oxygen at any cost! There were no ventilation or ICU systems other than COVID-19 nominated hospital and that is not available as well! Finally with so many calls we have reached an greement and found a ICU and admitted him at 10.30PM.

Due to COVID-19 hospital we couldn't stayed there and forcefully we had to come back at our home at Dhaka. Who knew it was the final meeting?

At 7.30 on 10th June the duty doctor announced him death and his journey to the earth just ended!

I wish I could put an Oxygen mask on my Dad's face as he was not able to breathe properly! I have asked 100 times though but he said he is okay! I wish I could understand that situation and forced hime to ware the mask! I know it would not save his life finally but, he could breathe easily before the odd situation started. I wish I could understand the headache he was telling was the sign of Oxygen shortages, the fever referred the same!

Will I able to forgive myself???

We do travel for our life; travel to refresh ourselves! We never noticed the death, this time I had to travel to bring someone to the death!!! Rest in peace dad ;(